Men's silk ties with library prints are easily enough found. Over-sized 80s shirts like these, and, at times, vests too can turn up. The first blouse, an Ellen Tracey with a beige background, and the second blouse, is a Pendleton. Unfortunately I am unable to read the spines of the books on either. I really want to know what kind of false library I am wearing. And I definitely want a copy of Don Quixote in there.

In the movie version of my life, I have a library print mini-dress that enables me to blend into an bibliophile environment. I am also an archeologist and a spy, because the film is a 60s spy musical. (Yes, that is an actual film genre, though there is only one film in it: Modesty Blaise starring Monica Vitti, which I recommend heartily. See it right away, the clothes and art direction are thrilling.)

So in the movie version of my life I have a friend who's a lobster. Her name is Dolores and she helps out with the spying. You know, she'll climb up on cafe tables with a microphone and play dead in a bed of lettuce to record a top secret discussion. She also invents new spy technology with her little lobster claws. I recently attempted to explain the movie version of my life to someone at work who looked at me with utter horror. When I said this was only one of my fantasy lives even more horror ensued.

What's so odd about a lobster friend? Poet and essayist Gerard de Nerval supposedly had one as a pet. He is quoted as having said at some point: "Why should a lobster be any more ridiculous than a dog? ...or a cat, or a gazelle, or a lion, or any other animal that one chooses to take for a walk? I have a liking for lobsters. They are peaceful, serious creatures. They know the secrets of the sea, they don't bark, and they don't gnaw upon one's monadic privacy like dogs do. And Goethe had an aversion to dogs, and he wasn't mad."

Perhaps you can do something with these library print shirts, make them into sleeveless dresses or tunics perhaps. The Pendleton is an extra large and perhaps you could use the fabric from the sleeves to add some extra length, or for a matching scarf. You probably have sewing skills. Wear them in whatever fantasy world you wish.

Mine. All mine. I know I shouldn't have. Not with my overstuffed closet. But I cannot resist photo prints on Polyester. And this one really delivers. You have to look really close to see that this is a repeat print, its logic is that organic, that fluid. I mean, in this blouse I could lay in the grass and disappear. This is a print for the movie version of my life, where I am a novelty print ninja.

It was on sale at Luncheonette Vintage, the source of this lovely photo and many delectable items.

Paganne, goslings. I wonder when I became such a toady for labels? This whimsical frock is available from Love Me Two Times Vintage. It's a medium, full length gown with a long slit up the left side going straight to mid-thigh. The print is on the front and the back. Pagannes don't come cheap. But you are worth it, so go get it. Or at least look at all the lovely photos.

I'd be tempted to wear this with a hat made out of broken violins. You can pick them up cheap by the armload at Goodwill. It would be even better if the pattern on the dress was actually an electronic keyboard. How fun would it be to play your own evening gown at a gig? Though the keyboards are not optimally placed for doing so. But just imagine, watching drummers struggle with their kits and saying:load-in's a cinch with my new piano frock. In the movie version of my life, the working keyboard would be on an apron that I tied onto my gown, that way I could adjust it in my lap. And I'd play all Blossom Dearie tunes. Perhaps I'd have a small grand piano nestled in my chignon. It would have a working keyboard as well, but--get this--it's a toy piano, all plunky, decayed sound.

And rings on every finger--rings shaped like grand pianos that are in fact--music boxes. Did I mention that I love Liberace?

Now I'm getting greedy. I'd sit next to a full size grand piano, playing it using extended techniques, play the electronic piano on my apron and occassionally reach up to the toy piano in my hair. Winding the music boxes on my fingers.

Quick, someone call Margaret Leng Tan and Phyllis Chen. I have had the pleasure of seeing both of them perform live. Margaret Leng Tan was performing with Eiko and Komo at the Japan Society. And Phyllis Chen playing an assortment of toy pianos, music boxes, a grand piano, and even played a composition than involved frying an egg, at Symphony Space. Both were awe-inspiring.

New to my blogroll is Couture Allure's blog, featuring designer vintage togs, along with vintage advertising and tips. Tips not only on vintage make-up stylings, but the proper way to carry your gloves. Like a lady. [That last line must be read with an Eliza Dolittle cockney.] But I prefer to smack people in the face with my gloves, and challenge them to duels.