Monday, November 13, 2006

Wear this with broccoli in your teeth. As Uncle Monty would say: Flowers are essentially tarts, prostitutes for the bees. It is the vegetable that is the true beauty.

Adorable skirt and blouse set elevates my favorite snack food and respects biodiversity. Love the high neckline, big collar and puffy ¾ sleeves. This cotton-poly blend looks like it’s in excellent condition. Hop to it.

Normally I don’t like text on my novelty, at least not in English. I could say that I prefer not to be read. But in all candor, I’m the kind of snob who only wants to be read by polyglots, world travelers and attractive foreigners. Text on any garment promotes staring, so you should think seriously about where the text will be on your body. Text also promotes unwanted comments. Though “Carrots come in all sizes” sounds to me like something Marlo Thomas said in Free to Be You and Me, (yes, I know I'm showing my age here), I can imagine that someone (especially my Uncle Monty) might see a more ribald double entendre.

While I love sets, I would most likely wear these pieces separately. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to gild the lily. My ensembles have been called busy, ongepatcheket, and farputst. And that’s when people are being nice. It could be said that I am a graduate of the Carmen Miranda School of Too Much. But over the years I’ve learned to use negative space, the way playwrights use pacing. I mean, the whole play can’t be climax, fireworks and coup de theatre, now can it? Now and then, you need some exposition or a pause. Eventually you've gotta come down from the top of Freytag's pyramid. A vest is my favorite was to add some breathing room to a novelty print dress. This also draws the eyes to the perimeters of the ensemble, which provides an optical illusion slimming effect.

The skirt would look lovely with a plain sweater. Pair the shirt with a brown or dark green skirt; top it off with a blazer that shows off the collar. But don’t forget to pin a radish to your label.


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