Aloha from the Taj Mahal. The travel print skirt to end all travel prints? Perhaps. Hand-tinted postcard photos of world monuments cut to the shape of clouds. The kind of clouds you see out the window of an airplane.

Yes, goslings, I've got wanderlust again. Just like last winter.

If I could get into a 24" waist, I'd wear this one with a very light crinoline, a sky blue tank top beneath a zippered hoodie paired with some very sensible shoes and hop on a plane bound for Bali. I know, I know. A backpacker in a crinoline sounds overwhelmingly impractical, but since this is my fantasy, it doubles as a sleeping bag. Oh, why am I holding back? How about this: the crinoline folds out like a sofa bed in a way that defies physics into a queensize bed complete with a mosquito net.

In my backpack, you'd also find an A-line dress made of this material. There's 3 yards of it.

Just look at this adorable luggage tag print. I love the scribbles and handwritten claim numbers and all the now defunct airlines. But what I like best is that the background evokes brown butcher paper.

Of course I'd study Balinese dance along with Gamelon and absolutely gorge myself on durian and fish without gaining an ounce. I'd have an affair with a Wayang Kulit puppeteer (you know how I love puppets). Since this is the movie version of my life, our romance would look a lot like the 1953 Leslie Caron film, Lili, except that they'd be shadow puppets and the puppeteer would be a much nicer guy. With a wounded heart though, no easy conquest, no sir, not he. The shadow puppets would sing to me and we'd do musical numbers together and that's how we would fall in love. But there would still be a part for Zza Zza Gabor somehow, maybe as an older expat living at the dance school, or better yet, an unscrupulous anthropologist, academic or concert promoter. Though Ms. Gabor doesn't have much range and I don't want to tax her too much.

Perhaps the hotel where I'm staying that just coincidentally houses some Indonesian pop stars and soap opera stars from the 70s who come out of retirement to do this movie. And just by chance some fine actresses like, Joan Plowright, Judy Densch and Fran Drescher. We'd have lovely dinners together were we'd have snappy, yet profound dialogue.

Music? How about only songs from one-hit wonders from the 80s? Like, I dunno, Dexy's Midnight Runners? Kajagoogoo? All performed on Gamelon, of course. My puppeteer, who resembles Chartchai Ngamsan (from Wisit Sasanatieng’s Thai cowboy melodrama "Tears of the Black Tiger", if you know of an equally dreamy Indonesian actor, please let me know and I'll dust off my casting couch) would need to have a dance background.

In my bag, which is weightless no matter how many sarongs I buy, you'd also find this skirt. Thrilling, postcards from around the world. Essentially the same images as the first one, only illustrated with line drawings. A lovely medium size and currently weighing in at $44.00.