Tuesday, January 30, 2007

More unicorns. But be brave, goslings, these are novelty prints that don’t quite make it. Shall we call them juvenile delinquents?

This tunic is faux vintage. Cute, but totally ongepatsht. Though I love a unicorn in the moonlight as much as the next magic fairy princess, the anthropomorphic gold foil crescent is completely de trop. The print would work much better without it. The fairies are not really necessary either. But perhaps you are just magic enough to make it work. Or you are a 12 year old, in which case it would be almost unbearably adorable. If you are a minute past your 13th Birthday it would only work if you are heavily tattooed. It’s in Hong Kong at the moment, and about 20 bucks.
There are many good things about this Through the Looking Glass print. The dapper unicorn being the zenith. Just look at his nonchalant expression and the hands the pockets. I think the playing card set-up that the border of this repeat print creates is a clever allusion to the playing cards and game motifs of both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. I like the muted color pallet. But poor Alice looks like a stretch of rough road. She’s wizened and coarse.
It’s something about the ratio between her eyes and her mouth, that looks like 30 years of menthols and cheap wine. Despite the Unicorn’s sophistication and Alice’s advanced age, this is still a juvenile print. It would look best as a pinafore over a fluffy, lace-trimmed baby doll dress on a Gothic Lolita a bit past her prime. In Japan, at least so I’m told, that would be 23. It's probably the same anywhere, goddamn it.
Youth culture, Feh. When I was a young gosling myself everything was geared to older people. I just couldn’t wait to be a divorcée who was finding herself by doing macramé and sleeping with her astrologer. (I was already in therapy at 8 years old and was known to start conversations with the archetypal Woody Allen rejoinder: My analyst says…)