I have a weakness for all things oceanic. Perhaps it’s nostalgia for my underwater life in the primordial ooze. Or maybe I just miss my flippers. No amount of seasickness tablets can cure it. If I see fish, seahorses or shells, I’m reaching for my wallet.

This dress was described as shells in a spider web. That sure got me to click on it, but as you can plainly see it is a fishnet. What I like about this is dress is that it’s brown on creamy white, giving an antique feeling, like Ernst Haeckel’s illustrations. The shells have nice details. I like the cuffs and collar, and that the bull’s-eye of the fishnet is positioned over the sternum. This dress is a medium to large (B 41, W39, H 42).

However, this dress has the misfortune of being shapeless, and the pattern shows the fishnet stretched out wide over the hips and thighs adding visual bulk to the bottom half. Surely, a belt is called for, but not a black leather belt as pictured. Brown seems like an obvious choice. Notice how the dress still puckers around the waist. I don’t think that belting this dress along the natural waistline is the best plan. I’d go above or below. Either I’d get a very wide cummerbund style belt that ties in the front. (You can make one: essentially it’s a length of fabric that’s wide in the middle over your torso, tapering to strings that cross in the back and tie in the front). This would raise the waist to an Empire style level. Or, I’d belt low on the hips with a chain belt. Something silvery and jingling, maybe even with coins dangling from it. But let’s not kid ourselves; it would still pooch.

It would be a crime to put darts in a print this cute. And if you decided to take it in from the side seams, it might end up too tight for you to lift your arms. There are times when it’s necessary to embrace the pooch. You’re cute enough to do it.

Oh, and I know I'm turning into my mother, but for Pete's sake, wear a slip with it. She seems like a lovely girl, but you can see the model's underwear.