Bully for you in a bear market. I think this print is hilarious. The columns of stock quotes in the background really make this thing work. But unfortunately the shape of the dress itself screams nightgown or housedress. Perhaps it is more substantial in person, though the ebay seller recommends re-purposing the material.

I have no luck with games of chance or strategy. I'm invariably dealt bad hands at poker and mah jong. If I bet on a horse, the poor creature is bound to injure herself. I always roll snake eyes, small children have trounced me at Monopoly, and on a tear I once fed almost $50 into a slot machine and didn't net a dime. So I've stayed away from the stock market, not having anything to invest anyway. It just seems too much like gambling.

However, I am excellent at predicting market trends. Better, I'd say, than most who write on this stuff for a living. I predicted the '97 Asian currency crisis, and in even in '98 I knew the tech stock bubble would pop. I was talking about a subprime mortgage crisis as early as '03. True, I can only sense when things are about to go seriously wrong, and only in the market. (How many times have I been blindsided in relationships? Sigh.) My talent may be a pessimistic one, but I can't do worse than the monkey hired by the Chicago Sun Times to pick stocks.

How could I get that job?